VAW: Universal computer care (no more Macs)

It looks like the season is once again upon us. Every four years, the American public comes together to vote for the newest crop of fools running for the Office of President. In 2008, Americans will get a choice between a screaming liberal in the Democratic Party and a preaching conservative in the Republican Party. Both will offer up ridiculous promises and both will eventually fail to achieve 99% of them, which most of us consider to be a good thing. Nothing really changes no matter who masquerades as our Commander in Chief. American presidential elections drag on way too long, but the circus is somewhat entertaining. Candidates on both sides outright lie about what they intend to do while in office and they all come up with unworkable, crazy schemes that will never see the light of day in Congress, just so you the hapless voter, will feel compelled to vote in their favor, if you even bother to vote at all.

One ridiculous promise that is almost fundamental to the campaigns of all the loony leftists in the Democratic Party is universal healthcare. The Democratic candidates talk about it like it is a forgone conclusion that if we elect one of them, we will all magically enjoy "free" healthcare. They claim, "It works for the Canadians." Yeah well, the Canadians have few global obligations. Their army consists of about 100,000 soldiers and their navy consists of about thirty old, small naval vessels. The U.S. has more soldiers serving in Iraq right now than Canada has in its entire military! Think about all the other places U.S. soldiers are forced to serve to defend our allies: Afghanistan, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, and Europe. I don't want to bore you with the numbers. Let's just agree that our force structure is substantial as is the cost to the U.S. taxpayer.

Maybe if we pull all our troops home and stop subsidizing Canada's healthcare system by providing for their national defense, we can afford some kind of universal healthcare system of our own. But what would that healthcare system look like? How might it work? Frankly, I haven't got a clue. I doubt the U.S. will ever get a universal health care system. Perhaps our beloved presidential candidates should offer something the U.S. could afford. I propose that someone form a candidacy around universal computer care. That's right, universal computer care. Of course, such a system will mean Americans will have to sacrifice, so a candidate will have to be careful how he or she presents the concept of universal computer care to the public.

There are cheap computers and there are expensive computers. I am sure everyone reading this article realizes that Macs are not cheap computers. In fact, I would be willing to bet that most people who regularly buy Macs live in comfortable homes and have more than adequate incomes. But what about the poor children? Do you realize that there are kids going to bed every night starving...starving for Internet access? Won't someone please think of the children!

Universal computer care will mean that every American will have at least one computer in the home and every home will have some kind of Internet access. Right now, the computer industry caters primarily to middle class Americans earning well above the poverty line. These "greedy" companies actually try to make a profit at the expense of all the children starving for computational equipment. With universal computer care, profit will be removed from the system. No longer will Apple, Dell, or IBM be able to profit at the expense of the American taxpayer.

With universal computer care, the government will take over responsibility for the manufacturing and distribution of all home computer systems. This will require a new government office, the Office of Home Computers. The Office of Home Computers will decide on what types of computers are produced, who produces them, and how they are distributed to all American families. No longer will the rich be able to enjoy fancy, expensive Macs, while the poor suffer without. Sacrifices will have to be made in the homes of the wealthy so that all will benefit and enjoy universal computer care.

A ban will be placed on new R&D until everyone has a computer. Thus, Intel will be forced to stop increasing the speed and efficiency of its processors until every child in America can shop on eBay or enjoy street fighting videos on YouTube. Apple will be forced to manufacture inexpensive computers. No more pretty trim or frilly industrial designs until the children can sleep sound after a long hard day working on their MySpace pages.

Diversity is expensive. No longer will the American taxpayer be forced to support multiple operating systems. Thus, universal computer care will force all companies to use one standard operating system: Windows XP. Everyone knows Vista is crap, and Mac OS, although arguably superior, has an installed user base of maybe 5% of the entire home computer market. Besides, Mac OS v10.5 (Leopard), Apple's newest operating system, requires a Mac running at least 867 MHz, with at least 512 MB of RAM. This simply won't work in the government's "people's computer" running Pentium IIIs.

Finally, in order to achieve universal computer care, we must make access to the Internet a possibility for everyone. No longer will the rich be able to enjoy fast broadband connections while the children of the poor go to bed each night without illegally downloading at least one song from Lime Wire. Everyone will use 56K modems until America can afford to give everyone broadband. It may take a hundred years, but we all must do this together because universal computer care is for everyone.

So what do you think of my proposal? America can afford to do this. If one of the fools running for president would run on a promise of universal computer care, I think he or (heaven forbid) she, might just have a chance. Of course if we do get universal computer care, Apple will have to go, but isn't that worth it? Won't you please think of the children?

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batteryland :

Posted 332 days ago

I want to bit the green apple, ^_^

Freedom Man :

Posted 518 days ago

I think your comments are typical of a liberal. What you fail to realize in your attempt to say that Hookerman "[doesn't] seem to understand anything about universal health care", is that if you hurt an industry by socializing it, it doesn't matter how much money you have, you are still left with a weakened and less efficient industry. I think Hookerman is trying to say that sure, everyone will have a computer, but superb computers like the Mac would be destroyed, just like overall healthcare has suffered in socialized countries. People like you always say the same nonsense. "You are stupid" or "You don't understand". Frankly, I understand quite well the dangers of socializing an industry, and it is people like you that don't understand that in the process we are giving up our liberties, or worse, making it easier for a dictator to take control of the government.

xhtml2 :

Posted 552 days ago

You don't seem to understand anything about universal health care. In countries that have it like the UK, there is nothing to stop you going to any doctor you choose. However if you don't want to pay for the doctor, you have to choose one that is in the universal health care system. Unless you live in a very small community, your choice is only limited by the number of doctors that are in the system. Plus you can still choose to use your wallet and go to a doctor outside of the system but pay for the privilege. It may be a joke to you but universal health care is something that is important for the millions of Americans who currently don't have any kind of health care coverage.

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